Some ideas for posts & blogs

  • Why do we shout
  • What type of shouter’s are there?
  • How can we stop angry shouting?
  • What happens to you after you’ve shouted?
  • Is it working? do you get the results you want by shouting?
  • What are the results of shouting and yelling at family?
  • How do you feel when you’re shouted at?
  • How do you think others feel when you are shouting at them?
  • What happens to your body when you are shouting?
  • How does angry shouting at others impact your relationships?
  • How does being shouted & yelled at impact your relationships?
  • How does being angry shouted at impact your mental health?
  • How does shouting impact your mental health?
  • What can you do instead of shouting?
  • How often do you shout in a week?
  • What can you do to stop shouting & yelling?
  • When you angry shout – what are you really feeling?
  • How would your life look & feel if you weren’t shouted at?
  • How would your life look & feel if you didn’t shout?
  • What’s the alternative to shouting? Is there one?
  • What impact does shouting have on our nervous system? 
  • What impact does being shouted at have on our nervous system? 
  • Where do you feel it in your body when you shout? 
  • Are there times when it’s good to shout? 
  • How do you deal with being shouted at? 

Tips to share on assertive communication

  • Use ‘I’ statements. E.g “When you cancel on me at last minute, I feel let down, then I feel really pissed”
  • Practice saying no – without aggression or getting angry
  • Rehearse what you want to say – if it means in the mirror do so. It’ll help you get comfortable the more you practice.
  • Keep emotions in check. Step away if you need to
  • Start slowly – in low-anxiety situations; don’t jump into a highly emotional situation until you have more confidence.
  • Choose the right time – to ask for a request or a chore to be completed
  • Choose the right place – choose a safe natural space. E.g not when in a rush or driving
  • Be direct and to the point kindly. Try not to use insults or name calling.
  • Be specific. Instead of saying “I need this by Monday” – say “I would the X project finished & emailed to me by 9.00 Monday morning.
  • Confirm your request. Ask others to write down or record what is being agreed. Then ask them to repeat was agreed. Then you repeat what was agreed.
  • Stand up for yourself. But it doesn’t mean shouting, verbal abuse, aggressive behaviour or violence
  • Express your opinions honestly. When you disagree do not pretend to agree
  • Learn to accept kind words. When someone compliments you, say, “Thank you.”
  • Maintain eye contact when in a conversation – it helps to get your point accross
  • Don’t get personal. When angry or annoyed don’t use the other persons triggers.
  • State what you want. Try ask for another behaviour “shall we sit down and talk about it so we can both stop getting so stressed?
  • Reward yourself each time you push yourself to respond assertively. Do this regardless of the response from the other person.
  • Avoid using the other persons triggers. This kinda just escalates the situation
  • Don’t put yourself down when you are passive or aggressive. Instead, identify where you tripped up and learn how to grow. We don’t learn new skills overnight.
  • Use body language to get your message across. “ I need that job finished Tuesday morning,” is an assertive statement. But mumbling this statement while staring at the floor, you undermine your message.
  • Notice your body – become aware of where you feel it when you are shouting. Make a mental note.
  • Take some time out. Don’t be afraid to step away for a few minutes to calm down or let the other person calm down.
  • Note our tone of voice – A calmer tone is not so intimidating .. and sounds like you know what you want opposed to a shrieking shouting.
  • Google “Fogging – a assertive communication technique “
  • Repeated Assertion  allows you to feel comfortable by ignoring manipulative verbal side traps, argumentative baiting or irrelevant logic while you stick to your point.
  • Don’t Judge or Exaggerate – or label. Just describe. Visualise you taking the emotion out of your body & putting it on a shelf. Then talk.
  • Put It all together – “When you [their behaviour], I feel [your feelings]”
  • List behaviour, results, and feelings – When you [their behaviour], then [results of their behaviour], and I feel [how you feel].
  • Allow yourself to feel anger – then  – ask yourself how you can  communicate your anger assertively.

© Lets Stop Shouting 2021 - Watoto Play Ltd . World Lets Stop Shouting Awareness Day November 6th 2021.
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